The rise of Matrescence and Fall of Perfectionism, with Ali Pember

When did we suddenly have to become perfect at everything?

The perfect mother, partner, colleague, business owner? When did this happen? How can we actually give ourselves permission to not be perfect and just be good enough?

And, can we actually be ok with that?

To answer all these questions, and many more, is this week’s guest, Ali Pember.

Ali is a Psychotherapist and Coach specialising in Perinatal Mental Health and Matrescence (the transition to motherhood). She works mainly with mothers, encouraging them to trust their own judgement in raising their children, with a strong emphasis on ‘good enough’ parenting.

Ali brings tools and perspectives from her background in Cognitive Psychology and Mindful Self Compassion to this work. She also situates individual distress within a social context:  dismantling the guilt, shame, stress, and anxiety that is often a product of the ‘Perfect Mother Myth’ and other forms of social conditioning. Her main aims are to help you to realise that you are not alone,  to help you make sense of your identity as a mother, and to help you focus on what really matters for your family, rather than what you think you ‘should’ be doing.

Ali sheds some light on Matrescence and how and why we’ve found ourselves in the impossible situation of having to be perfect in every aspect of our lives.

Most importantly, Ali holds our hand and shows the way to let go of the need to be the perfect mother, without feeling guilt or shame.

Some things we discuss:

  • Matrescence, what this means in relation to Motherhood.
  • How Modern Motherhood has already set us up to fail and how we can change that.
  • How to switch from the need for perfection towards being good enough – and how to be ok with it.
  • The universal sense of overwhelm mothers everywhere are facing lately: is this the new norm?
  • Stopping to strive to be a ‘better’ mum, is what leads you towards being a better mum
  • Identity crisis that new mothers go through and coping mechanisms to support them
  • Advice for pregnant women when preparing for Matrescence
  • Words of advice and tips for any mother who tells herself ”I’m not good enough”

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